two uteri, two mamas pregnant, AGAIN, with baby number two

More Rescheduling February 21, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — charlotte @ 1:22 am

The Fireman called to reschedule for tomorrow. Something about his kitchen cabinets needed to be installed today and they had to be home for it. Good reason, I suppose.

I’m just feeling pessimistic about the whole thing. I just want to meet him so we can decide not to use him and move on to the frozen sperm. We’ll see what happens. Even if I like him, he’s blonde! I know that sgould not matter so much tome but it does. I am brown hair, brown eyes, olive skin. I want the baby to reflect me. I know that even if I birthed the baby, or chose a donor who looked just like me the baby could come out as a fair skinned redhead or an albino.

But there is this emotional piece, a part of me that wants so badly for this baby to look like me, have my eyes, share my genes. Especially since LM is related to both of us. I guess I am still just sad that this baby can’t be physically of me. It’s harder than I thought it would be.


4 Responses to “More Rescheduling”

  1. Trista Says:

    that was the hardest part of letting go of the possibility of using a kd from my family. I really wanted the baby to be of both of us. To look like the physical bond between my partner and I that she is metaphorically. It’s a hard thing to let go of…

  2. Lo Says:

    Oh Charlotte. That sounds very very hard.
    It was never a dream for us — there just aren’t eligible KDs in either of our families — the extent to which that is true would make a very funny post, actually, I should do that — so I’m over it. Co and I look very unalike, so I rather expect our kids might as well. That’s why we’re hoping for the same donor….
    (and on that note….questionnaire to familyo at earthlink dot net….if I seem to be nagging it’s because I’m getting incredibly anxious about meeting our PKD. I have never done anything remotely like this before.)

  3. Calliope Says:

    I SO know this. At first I thought I was being way narcisstic wanting a kid that looked like me. But now it is beyond that – it is about wanting to being able to have no doubts that the kid is mine. To be able to know that strangers aren’t looking at the kid & then looking at me & saying, “he must look like his dad”. Well when there is no dad in the picture I don’t want to worry about those looks.
    So don’t feel bad for not wanting a blonde donor!

  4. M. Says:

    I too understand. There weren’t any real potential KDs in our family so that really wasn’t an option, but I sure wish we could just do this little project together without the help of an “other”. I am somewhat content though that our donor brings some of what I would bring to the table…lighter hair, blue eyes and heart disease. : )

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