The Fireman called to reschedule for tomorrow. Something about his kitchen cabinets needed to be installed today and they had to be home for it. Good reason, I suppose.
I’m just feeling pessimistic about the whole thing. I just want to meet him so we can decide not to use him and move on to the frozen sperm. We’ll see what happens. Even if I like him, he’s blonde! I know that sgould not matter so much tome but it does. I am brown hair, brown eyes, olive skin. I want the baby to reflect me. I know that even if I birthed the baby, or chose a donor who looked just like me the baby could come out as a fair skinned redhead or an albino.
But there is this emotional piece, a part of me that wants so badly for this baby to look like me, have my eyes, share my genes. Especially since LM is related to both of us. I guess I am still just sad that this baby can’t be physically of me. It’s harder than I thought it would be.