two uteri, two mamas pregnant, AGAIN, with baby number two

Valentines Day at the Sperm Bank February 15, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — charlotte @ 4:49 am

The sperm bank was INCREDIBLE. Yes, ladies. We had a fabulous time. Frozen sperm is officially on the table (not literally of course, yet.)

They were sooooooo nice, accommodating, understanding. The woman we had a consultation with was a lesbian. The place is the only non-profit sperm bank in the country. The consultant had met all of the donors who were our favs.

She told us her impressions, very precise details about what they look like (comments such as, I don’t really go for hunky/jock types, but if you do he is fabulous, or he has a big smile that reaches his eyes, oval face, his eyes are not as deeply set as yours, Charlotte, but he has a very similar strong jaw line, or his eyebrows are thick, but not a unibrow.) Detail upon detail.

She even went to peruse the donor photographs (I was dying for an invisibility potion so I could follow her and see for myself) to see if anyone we had not chosen bore a particular resemblance to me. She talked to us about their personalities, her gut impressions. Sometimes she said she did not particularly connect with a donor, or that they ‘danced to their own drummer’ which I took as a bad sign from the way she said it.

So the frozen sperm is a viable option for us. We took home 3 long profiles, with tons of details. We feel like the frozen sperm is now a great choice, not the shitty left over choice if our PKD’s don’t work out. This actually makes the decision harder, but feels relieving. The donors all have some of my characteristics, personality traits etc.

So Valentines Day at the sperm bank was a success.

We had not really thought about what it would be like to turn down our PKDs. Especially PKD #1. He is really looking forward to helping us make a baby, and meeting his genetic baby. He just feels too involved, wants his own kids too badly, wants the kid to meet his parents (even though he’ll sign a document saying that we have the option not to have such a meeting).
Thankfully I have foisted the responsibility for this onto S. I have told her that because I do most of the sperm research and blogging, and making of appointments, and FILLING IN HER CHART, she must do the dirty deed of saying no, if we ultimately decide that.

We meet with the Fireman and family on Thursday. Feels like we have sperm coming out the wazoo.


9 Responses to “Valentines Day at the Sperm Bank”

  1. Brooke Says:

    OMG Charlotte – thank you so, so, so much for this post. I hadn’t realized just how much I have been hungering for a POSITIVE sperm bank story. To me, it really was the shitty, left-over choice. But this really gives me hope that it can be just as an exciting experience. Again, thanks.

  2. B Says:

    It’s good to hear that someone is having an easy time finding sperm! We are having a hard time finding another donor. We’ve found that there are very few African-American donors at the sperm banks unfortunately.
    I’m glad your V-Day trip to the bank went well! Good luck to you and your upcoming decisions on choosing a donor.

  3. Calliope Says:

    wow! What a great post!
    & you soooooooo skated over the meeting with the fireman. What the heck was that like?

  4. charlotte Says:

    Calliope – Fireman meeting is tomorrow (if they call back to confirm!)
    You better believe I will have an HUGE post devoted to the meeting.

    Brooke – I’m so glad this was helpful for you. It was helpful for us too. I highly recommend doing a consultation. In person or over the phone. This one cost $60 for 1 hour, and was totally worth it. It really personalized/humanized the whole process.

  5. Calliope Says:

    ooooooooh tomorrow! my bad.
    you know there was a rumor about a show in Europe about a woman “auditioning” a series of men to see who she would pick to be her donor. You should make your own reality show!

  6. Lo Says:

    Thanks, Charlotte, for all your wisdom and, as Brooke has already said, for giving hope to the rest of us who are wondering if we might “have to” use frozen.
    I mean, rumor has it people do get knocked up this way, yes?
    If it’s okay I will probably want to pick your brain about this some more.

  7. Sacha Says:

    He he, M. does all my charting for me. Because I’m a crazy busy nurse and I was in nursing school and I’m really too lazy and it’s a way for her to be connected.

    I’m so excited to find out what decision you make.

  8. mermaidgrrrl Says:

    I can’t believe so many of us are scratching around the yard of the hen-house forlornly turning over the barren earth – whilst you have about 5 roosters all to yourselves!
    I wish I’d had a sperm-bank date for V-day. The romance was nice, but waiting for the first Dr’s appointment is killing me.

  9. M. Says:

    I’ve never thought of sperm bank sperm as leftovers…not at all. That is proably the best sperm out here since they are so scrutinized and hand picked based on having all these great qualities…just not hand picked by you. I’m sure if you go this route you’ll have a beautiful, genius baby. : )

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