A few weeks ago I was at the local children’s store telling an acquaintance that S. and I are looking for a sperm donor. A woman overheard our plight and chimes in:
“Sorry to interrupt, but my husband would probably be your donor!”
I say “Really?!, why?”
“He has often talked about donating to a sperm bank, it is just something he has always wanted to do.”
I’m thinking, what the f*ck – you never know, so I say “Ok, why don’t you give me your phone number.”
Then she says “oh, boy, he is going to crack up when I tell him this. He is going to think I am so crazy”
I say laughing, “Why? Because you offered his sperm to a stranger in a children’s clothing store??”
I explained to her that we don’t want a ton of involvement, we want someone willing to donate, but not be too attached. Maybe visits a few times a year. The kid can call the donor with questions anytime. Possibility of an uncle type relationship if it develops. She tells me that she believes those terms would be perfectly fine with him, he already has a son and is not looking to have more children of his own in any way. I am evaluating as she is talking, at times having trouble concentrating on what she is saying.
He is a fireman (super fly) he is blond and blue eyes (not great, I am brown hair brown eyes ½ Mexican), he is a kind person (super fly), he has always wanted to donate (super fly), he does not want another kid at all (super fly), he looks nothing like me (not great), he helps save kittens and old people for a living (super fly).
So we laugh together, and I say I’ll call you.
I mean seriously people. Does this shit really happen?
So his number is on the fridge, and S. and I are too chicken to call.
So I gathered my gumption on Monday, called, got the answering machine and promptly hung up.
Wednesday, I got the gumption back, and left a message.
When she didn’t call back I though maybe she changed her mind, or her husband said “you crazy freak, I’m not giving my semen to a stranger you met at a used kids clothing store.”
But people, she called back today.
She is funny. She is bisexual. She and her husband love the idea of donating to a lesbian couple to help them have a child. They have a four year old son. They thought we were not going to call. They were so happy when we did. He is a firefighter. She is an EMT. When they go camping they bring an IV kit. A small hospital travels with them wherever they go. She cracks me up.
We have a play date set up for next week.
Sperm comes into our lives in unlikely places. Our decision just got even more complicated, if that’s possible. Hallelujah.