Looking for lurkers January 31, 2006

It is sad, but I hope I have some lurkers.
I am wondering if anyone is reading this.
I feel like 6th grade all over again. And am I the not cool kid with no friends, and no lurkers even?

I also want to know if other people’s blog motivation comes from the desire to write (just to the ether, who cares who reads it), or do y’all REALLY want other people to read and comment on your blogs?
Because I fall into the latter camp.

I also know I have only had a blog for 4 days and am probably just being my usual paranoid freak self.

crappy rainy monday January 30, 2006

Still no call from PKD. What is he thinking!?!

For some cheerier news my little monster wears little frog rainboots. OMG.

Mr. Gay Sperm Man January 30, 2006

Why do donors simply not understand how crazy TTCing lesbians are? Our PKD wrote an email yesterday and said he was “feeling very excited about the whole thing” and that he would call us today (Sunday). But no call. Whatev.

The scoop on PKD (Mr. Gay Sperm Man) +’s and -’s:
white (ok but we wanted 1/2 mexican like me)
age: 39
smart
funny
interesting
successful
fairly goodlooking although not S.’s type **
fairly goodlooking but looks nothing like me
good heart
great uncle to his neice and nephew
sensitive (maybe a little too sensitive)
articulate
introspective
hard to get ahold of

We are waiting to hear if he is ok not having his family involved at all. He seemed really attached to his parents and brother meeting the kid, and having a relationship with him or her, albeit distant. We don’t want to agree to this up front. Not because we are necessarily opposed to the idea, but we believe that PKD’s desire for this relationship with his family indicates too much attachment on his part. He said in a past conversation that this issue was a ‘deal breaker.’ But I guess it is for us too. Does that make sense?

This issue seems to be at the core of the negotiations. I am glad to be working these issues out now, but it is so emotionally exhausting. Does any other endeavor require so much waiting at every step??

SO CALL US Mr. Gay Sperm Man.

**S. is what Sacha calls a ‘penis free lesbian,’ but once in a while she encounters a man (ok mostly only famous people she’s never met and one guy in college) who she would have sex with if she were straight. This means she would never have sex with them because she is gayer than a jay bird, BUT there is obviously some attraction there. She feels no such attraction to PKD.

Mayor of Crazytown January 29, 2006

To preface this, I will tell those of you who don’t know that S.’s brother donated to me for baby #1.
So, I was telling a friend of a friend about our current search for a known donor for S.

Ok, before I say what she says let me say that this is a normal person. She drives a minivan. Ok, so she says:

“why doesn’t S.’s brother donate to her too?”

And I’m like “what?”

And she says “why not? you know there’s no medical reason not to, there’s only a 2% chance of any genetic abnormality.”

I’m thinking: is she from another f*ing planet? but what I say is:
“um, because it’s her brother.”

At some point I’m thinking she’s gonna say:
“oh yeah, that’s really gross, I can see why S. doesn’t want to get knocked up by her brother”

But she doesn’t say it.

She just shrugs, and says again
“yeah, there isn’t really any reason why not to, there would only be problems if it continued on in the next generation.”

What can I even say about this encounter?
Should I respect that this woman truly understands alternative families?? I think not.

Hello!?! We may be queer, and yes, our children will genetically be cousins, but we are not going to inbreed.
This woman is the mayor of Crazytown. Right?

Mayor of Crazytown is a term S. and I use when we think someone is just plum stark raving mad.

On the topic of an actual route we may take to have a baby, KD emailed me tonight. He said he’ll call us tomorrow, but that he talked to his brother and therapist and they both thought that donating to us was “a good thing” for him to do. I don’t know what that means yet but will find out soon. We have another sperm offer possibility which I will detail in another post. We are really confused.

the first one January 28, 2006

So this is my first post. I was afraid to do it because the other lesbian TTC blogs I am reading are so witty and funny and smart. So I will try to keep up with y’all.

Here’s the scoop. My wife, S. and I have been shacked up for almost 11 years. We were married in 2001. Our wedding was in my mom’s backyard, filled with Japanese lanterns, twinkly lights and an unbelievable amount of love. We danced an Argentinean Tango (3 months of lessons). (Oh, and you should know that I overuse parentheses. ) I love S. more and more each year. And each year I think I can’t possibly love her more next year. But then it happens.

We honeymooned for a month in New Zealand and Australia. S. wants to move to New Zealand.

Spring 2003 we bought a house! So we have a teeny but cozy loft style mountain home.

Thanksgiving 2003 we decided we were ready for kids. When S. and I decide to go for something it is all balls out.
I started charting Dec 1st, quit smoking December 15th, inseminated December 29th and 30th.

And we were pregnant in January, 1st try.

S.’s brother donated to me, so our son F. (aka little monster) is related to both of us. On another post I will detail the fun and hilarity of the inseminations. Good stuff.

Anyhoo, he is the most fabulous creature ever.
I mean seriosuly, look at those rolls.

S. is WAY funny. So I will force her to make blog entries with me.

We are currently pre-TTC our second baby. Welcome to Project Making Baby #2. S. wants to be pregnant and experience birth and being what we call the ‘boobie-mama’. It is a very different relationship with the child, esp if you are breastfeeding. My pregnancy was incredible and beautiful blahblahblah, but it was also super challenging in multiple ways - don’t get me strated on the heartburn, copious snot, pulled muscles, hip pain, and stretch marks, among others

The process is MUCH HARDER this time. We are talking to a PKD (potential known donor) but things are looking not great in terms of us being on the same page. We’ll see. We are trying to make the difficult and unfair (why can’t we do it like heteros) decisions about how to create our next baby, with what sperm, fresh, frozen, degree of donor involvement, how much money can we spend, lawyers, etc. Not fun. We just really want another baby.

All of this while chasing after our 16 month old little monster.

We are so excited to have another one that it is torture to have so many variables, decisions, and waiting. Oh the waiting.

So there it is in a bity nutshell.

I am new to all of this and love reading other peoples TTC and baby blogs.
So I welcome comments and can’t wait to start telling our story.